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The world's funniest kindergartner is back, in her 15th book!

It's almost the end of the school year, and Room Nine is taking a field trip to a farm! There's lots of fun farm stuff there. Like a real actual barn. And a real actual farmer. There's even real alive animals you can pet! Only, where's the gift shop? That's what Junie B. Jones would like to know. Surely no one would want Junie B. to go home empty-handed. . . .

Confusing Stuff 1 (9)
Stubby 9 (7)
Pictures 16(10)
Cockle-Doodly-Doo 26(10)
E-I-E-I-O 36(8)
Farmer Flores 44(12)
Spike 56(8)
Confusion 64

Chapter 4: Very Practicing


After school, I runned all the way home from my bus stop. That's because Grandma Miller baby-sits me in the afternoon. And I wanted to tell her all about Carnival Night!

"HEY GRANDMA MILLER! IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! YOUR GRANDGIRL! I'VE GOT SOME IMPORTANT NEWS FOR YOU! THERE'S GONNA BE A CARNIVAL AT MY SCHOOL! AND I CAN WIN A HUNDRED PRIZES AT THAT THING!"

Grandma Miller hurried out of baby Ollie's room. She looked grumpity at me.

"Shh! Junie B! Not so loud! I just put the baby down for his nap!"

My shoulders got very slumping.

"Yeah, only I'm excited down here, Helen," I said.

Then Grandma smiled a little bit.

And she hugged me hello.

And she said not to call her Helen.

"Yeah, only I didn't even tell you the bestest part yet!" I said. "'Cause Mrs. read me the kind of games they're going to play. And so now I can practice them at home. And I will be the bestest game winner of anyone!"

I hurried to the laundry room to get the clothespins.

"They're gonna have a game where you drop clothespins in a bottle!" I hollered to Grandma. "Except for I can't find a bottle in this whole big laundry room. So I'm just gonna drop my clothespins in a bucket. 'Cause that will give me the feel of it, I think!"

I got the bucket away from the mop. Then I dropped all of my clothespins right in that thing.

"Hey, Grandma! I did it! I did it! I dropped every single clothespin in this big bucket. And I didn't even miss one of them! I am a breeze at this game!"

I ran back to her. "Now I need some pennies to practice the Penny Toss," I said.

And so Grandma Millergave me all her pennies. And I ran back and threw those guys in the bucket, too!

And here's another fun thing! When Mother came home from work, she showed me how to putt with a real actual golf club!

Only no golf balls in the house. So I just putted a grapefruit. And also a dinner roll.

And guess what? That night at dinner I didn't even growl about sitting on the telephone book. 'Cause everything was going my way, that's why!

After we ate, Mother and Daddy cleaned up the dishes together.

They weren't even paying attention to me.

That's how come I sneaked into the bathroom to practice another game.

Its name is Throwing Sponges at Principal!

First, I got the sponge from under the sink.

Then I made it soaky wet with water.

"Ready...

"Aim...

"Fire!" I said.

Then I throwed the sponge with all my might.

It splashed right in the middle of the toilet pot!

"BULL'S-EYE! I MADE A BULL'S-EYE!" I hollered real excited.

Only just then, I heard a knock at the door.

"Junie B.? What are you doing in there? Open the door."

Oh no!

It was Mother!

I was in big trouble, I think.

My heart got very pumping. On account of I'm not actually allowed to play in the toilet.

So I quick flushed the sponge down the pot.

Only too bad for me. 'Cause that dumb thing got stucked in the hole.

And the water kept on getting higher.

And higher.

And then it runned right over the top!

Mother banged harder.

"I SAID OPEN THE DOOR!"

I did a gulp.

"Yeah, only it's a little bit splashy in here right now," I explained kind of quiet.

Mother unlocked the door with the key.

I smiled very pleasant.

"Hello. How are you today?" I said.

Mother hollered the name of ROBERT!

Robert is my daddy. Except for sometimes he is Bob.

He came running in there.

"Well, good night, folks," I said.

Then I tried to sneak out of there. But Mother held on to my shirt. And so even when I kept on walking, I kept on staying.

She made me help her and Daddy dry up the water with towels.

After that, I had to take a bath. Only I don't know why. 'Cause I was already wet from the toilet.

After my bath, Mother tucked me into bed. Me and her had a little talk.

The world's funniest kindergartner is back, in her 15th book! It's almost the end of the school year, and Room Nine is taking a field trip to a farm! There's lots of fun farm stuff there. Like a real actual barn. And a real actual farmer. There's even real alive animals you can pet! Only, where's the gift shop? That's what Junie B. Jones would like to know. Surely no one would want Junie B. to go home empty-handed. . . .