A KISS is a lovely trick designed by nature
to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman
³»°¡ °¡Àå ÁÁ¾ÆÇÏ´Â ¿µÈ¹è¿ì°¡ BrainyQuote¿¡ ÀÖ´Â Love Quotations Áß °¡Àå ¸¾¿¡ µå´Â ¸»À» ³²°å´Ù.
Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.'
Mature love says 'I need you because I love you.' - Erich Fromm
ÀÌ°Ç Àý´ëÀûÀ¸·Î ¿ÇÀº ¸»ÀÌÁö¸¸ ¿äÁò ½Ã´ë¿¡´Â ±×´Ú °¨µ¿ÀûÀÌÁö ¸øÇÑ °Í °°°í,
Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones,
as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
ÀÌ°Ç ±íÀÌ »ý°¢ÇØ ºÁ¾ßÇÒ ¾î·Á¿î(?) ¹®Á¦°°´Ù.
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Springer³ª Elsevier´Â <´ëÇб³>¿Í °è¾àÀ» ¸Î°í <Çг»ÀÇ ±¸¼º¿ø(±³¼ö ¶Ç´Â ÀçÇлý)>¿¡°Ô´Â º°µµÀÇ ºñ¿ë¾øÀÌ ¸î ¸¸ ±ÇÀÇ Ã¥À» º¼ ¼ö ÀÖµµ·Ï ÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Ù. ¼¿ï´ëÇб³µµ ¸¶Âù°¡Áö ½Ã½ºÅÛÀÌ´Ù. Àü¼¼°è ´ëÇÐÀÇ ¼ýÀÚ¸¦ °í·ÁÇϸé ÀÌ·± ¹æ½ÄÀº ¸Å¿ì ÇÕ´çÇÏ´Ù--¿¹¸¦µé¾î 2¸¸±Ç¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ºñ¿ëÀ¸·Î ÇÑ ´ëÇп¡ 1¾ï¿øÀ» ¹Þ´Â´Ù°í °¡Á¤Çϸé, Àü¼¼°èÀÇ ´ëÇÐÀÇ ¼ýÀÚ°¡ 2¸¸°³À϶§´Â ±Ç´ç 1¾ï¿øÀ» ¹Þ´Â ¼ÀÀÌ´Ù. ¿¬°£ 1õ¸¸¿øÀ» ¹Þ´Â´Ù°í ÇÏ¸é ¿ª½Ã ±Ç´ç Æò±ÕÀº 1õ¸¸¿øÀÌ´Ù. ÀαâÀִ å°ú ±×·¸Áö ¾ÊÀº Ã¥ÀÇ ÇüÆò¼º ¹®Á¦°¡ ³²¾ÆÀÖÁö¸¸ ¾î·µç Æò±Õ ÀúÀ۱Ƿá·Î´Â ±¦Âú´Ù°í »ý°¢ÇÑ´Ù. ±×·¯³ª PDF°¡ À¯ÃâµÇ´Â °ÍÀº ±×·± °æ·Î¸¦ ÅëÇؼÀÏÅ×°í, ³ª´Â ±×·± ½Ã½ºÅÛÀ» ÃÖ¼ÒÇÑ 2Â÷ÀûÀ¸·Î <¾Ç¿ë(maluse)>ÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Â ¼ÀÀÌ´Ù. ±×·¯³ª ³ª´Â ÇöÀçÀÇ ÀúÀÛ±Ç ½Ã½ºÅÛ¿¡ ¿ÏÀüÈ÷´Â ¾Æ´Ï¾îµµ <ÀϺκР¹Ý´ë>ÇÏ´Â ÀÔÀåÀ» °¡Áö°í ÀÖ´Ù.
±×·±µ¥ ±¸±ÛºÏ½º ¶Ç´Â Amazon¿¡¼ ÀϺθ¦ ¹Ì¸®º¸±â ÇüÅ·Πº¼ ¼ö ÀÖ¾ú´Ù. ÀÌ µÎ °¡Áö¸¦ Á¶ÇÕÇÏ°í ¾à°£ÀÇ ¼ö°í¸¦ ´õÇÏ¸é »ó´çÇÑ ºÐ·®À» ÀÐÀ» ¼öµµ ÀÖÀ» °ÍÀÌ´Ù. ÀÌ·± ¹æ½ÄÀ¸·Î ÀϺΠº»¹®À» È®ÀÎÇß´Ù´Â Á¡µµ ¾Æ¿ï·¯ ¹àÇôµÐ´Ù.
Mindfulness!
¿äÁò »ó´çÈ÷ °¢±¤¹Þ´Â ´Ü¾î´Ù. ½É¸®Çп¡¼, Á¤½ÅÀÇÇÐ, ±×¸®°í º¸´Ù ÀϹÝÀûÀ¸·Î Ä«¿î¼¿¸µ, °Ô´Ù°¡ °æ¿µÇбîÁöµµ!
ÀÌ ´Ü¾î¸¦ Encarta »çÀü¿¡¼´Â aware: actively attentive, or deliberately keeping something in mind(ÀǽÄÇÏ´Â: ´Éµ¿ÀûÀ¸·Î ÁÖ¸ñÇÏ´Â, ¶Ç´Â ÀϺη¯ ¹«¾ùÀ» ¸¶À½¿¡ ´ã¾ÆµÎ´Â)À̶ó°í Ç®ÀÌÇÑ´Ù. ¹Ý´ë¸»ÀÎ mindless°¡ boring, purposeless ¶Ç´Â unconcernedÀÇ ¶æÀ̶ó´Â Á¡À» ¾Æ¿ï·¯ »ý°¢ÇصÎÀÚ.
<Mindfulness and Mental Health: Therapy, Theory and Science>(2008, Routledge)¿¡¼ ÀúÀÚÀÎ Chris Mace ±³¼ö´Â <What is it to be mindful? It is to pay attention in a particular way.>(Chapter 1 Understanding mindfulness: Origins, p.4) ±×¸®°í <Mindfulness is a way of being aware. Mindful awareness is receptive and not exclusive.>(Introduction, p.1)À̶ó°í ¸»ÇÑ´Ù. µÎ ¹ø° ¹®ÀåÀÇ ¶æÀ» ÀÌÇØÇÏ·Á¸é Á» ´õ Àü¹®ÀûÀÎ Áö½ÄÀÌ ÇÊ¿äÇÏ´Ù.
Defining mindfulness
1. Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally. (Kabat-Zinn 1994: 4)
2. (a) Mindfulness reminds us of what we are supposed to be doing; (b) it sees things as they really are; and (c) it sees the true nature of all phenomena. (Gunaratana 1992: 156)
3. In mindfulness, the meditator methodically faces the bare facts of his experience, seeing each event as though occurring for the first time. (Goleman 1988: 20)
4. [Mindfulness is] keeping one's consciousness alive to the present reality. (Hanh 1991: 11)
5. [Mindfulness is] awareness of present experience with acceptance. (Germer 2005b: 7)
(Chapter 1 Understanding mindfulness: Origins, p.4)
ÀÌ°ÍÀÌ ¾Õ¼ µé¾ú´ø ½É¸®ÇÐ ¶Ç´Â Á¤½ÅÀÇÇÐ, Ä«¿î¼¿¸µ¿¡¼ Á¤ÀÇÇÏ´Â Mindfulness´Ù. Ç¥ÇöÀº ´Ù¸£Áö¸¸ ÀüºÎ °°Àº Ư¼ºÀ» ÁöÀûÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Ù. ù° <ÀǽÄÀû>À¸·Î ÀÌ·ç¾îÁø´Ù´Â Á¡, µÑ° ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ °¡Ä¡°üÀ̳ª ¼ºÇâ, Áö½Ä°ú ÆÇ´ÜÀ» <Á¤Áö½ÃŲä> <ÀÖ´Â ±×´ë·Î ¼ö¿ëÇÏ´Â> °ÍÀ̶ó´Â Á¡, ¼Â° °ú°Åµµ ¹Ì·¡µµ ¾Æ´Ï°í <ÇöÀçÀû>À̶ó´Â Á¡ÀÌ´Ù. ³Ý°´Â ´ç¿¬ÇÑ °ÍÀÌÁö¸¸ ¹«¾ùÀΰ¡¿¡ <ÁÖ¸ñÇÏ´Â> ÇàÀ§¶ó´Â Á¡ÀÌ´Ù. Ưº°È÷ µ¡ºÙÀÌ°í ½ÍÀº °ÍÀº GolemanÀÇ ¼³¸í(3)¿¡¼ as though occurring for the first time(¸¶Ä¡ óÀ½ ÀÏ¾î³ ÀÏÀÎ °Íó·³)À̶ó´Â ºÎºÐÀÌ ÀÖ´Ù´Â °ÍÀÌ´Ù. ÀÌ°ÍÀº ³» ¼³¸íÀÇ µÎ¹ø°¿Í ¼¼¹ø°¸¦ ¾Æ¿ì¸£´Â °ÍÀ¸·Î º¸ÀδÙ.
Chris Mace ±³¼ö´Â 1ÀåÀ» ´ÙÀ½ÀÇ ÀοëÀ¸·Î ½ÃÀÛÇÏ°í ÀÖ´Ù.
There is no mental process concerned with knowing and understanding, that is without mindfulness.
Commentary on the Satipatthana Sutta, cited by Thera (1965: 194)
(¹«¾ùÀΰ¡¿¡ ´ëÇØ ¾Ë°Ô µÇ°í ÀÌÇØÇÏ´Â Á¤½ÅÀÇ ÀÛ¿ë¿¡¼ mindfulness ¾øÀÌ ÀÌ·ç¾îÁö´Â °ÍÀº Çϳªµµ ¾ø´Ù.)
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±×·±µ¥ ¹®Á¦Àû »óȲ¿¡¼ Å°½º¸¦ ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Â °ÍÀº ¾î¶² ÀǹÌÀϱî? °Å±â¿¡ MindfulnessÀÇ ¿ø¸®°¡ ½º¸çµé¾î ÀÖ´Ù°í º¸´Â °ÍÀÌ ³» °ßÇØ´Ù. Chris Mace ±³¼öÀÇ Ã¥ <Mindfulness and Mental Health: Therapy, Theory and Science>¸¦ ÀοëÇؼ ¼Ò°³ÇÑ Á¤Àǵé(definitions)¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ³» ¼³¸íÀ» ´Ù½Ã µ¹ÀÌÄѺ¸ÀÚ.
1. <ÀǽÄÀû>À¸·Î ÀÌ·ç¾îÁø´Ù
2. ÀÚ½ÅÀÇ °¡Ä¡°üÀ̳ª ¼ºÇâ, Áö½Ä°ú ÆÇ´ÜÀ» <Á¤Áö½ÃŲä> <ÀÖ´Â ±×´ë·Î ¼ö¿ëÇÑ´Ù>
3. °ú°Åµµ ¹Ì·¡µµ ¾Æ´Ï°í <ÇöÀçÀû>ÀÌ´Ù
4. ¹«¾ùÀΰ¡¿¡ <ÁÖ¸ñÇÏ´Â> ÇàÀ§ÀÌ´Ù
¾î¶²°¡? <Àױ׸®µå ¹ö±×¸¸ÀÇ Å°½º>´Â Mindfulness¸¦ ¼³¸íÇϱ⿡ ´õ ¾øÀÌ ÁÁÀº »ç·Ê¶ó°í »ý°¢µÇÁö ¾Ê´Â°¡? ÀÓ»óÇÐÀûÀ¸·Î MindfulnessÀÇ ¼ºÆи¦ Á¿ìÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ºÐ¸íÈ÷ (2)ÀÏ °ÍÀÌ´Ù.
John M. Gottman(Ph.D)ÀÇ ÀÌ·ÐÀ» ¿ä¾àÇÑ <What Am I Feeling?>(John M. Gottman and Talaris Research Institute, Parenting Press Inc.)¶ó´Â ÀÛÀº Ã¥(Àüü 41ÂÊ)ÀÌ ÀÖ´Ù. ÀÏÀÏÀÌ Å¸ÀÌÇÎÇϱ⠾î·Á¿ö¼ Á¦¸ñ¸¸ ¼Ò°³ÇÑ´Ù. (ÀÌ Ã¥Àº Gottman ¹Ú»çÀÇ <Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting>¸¦ ¿ä¾àÇÑ °ÍÀÌ´Ù)
4 Parenting Style
(1) The Dismissing Style
Ignoring "bad" emtions -- "Just get over it"
(2) The Disapproving Style
"Bad" emotions are punished -- "You shouldn't feel that way"
(3) The Laissez-Faire Style
Emotions without guidance -- "Anything goes"
(4) The Emotion Coaching Style
Empathy and guidance -- "I know how you feel"
5 Steps of Emotion Coaching
(1) Emotional Awareness -- Be aware of the child's emotions.
(2) Connecting -- Recognize emotions are an opportunity to connect.
(3) Listening -- Listen with empathy.
(4) Naming Emotions -- Help the child name emotions.
(5) Finding Good Solutions -- Set limits and find good solutions.
Helpful Tips
* Be patient
* Be honest with a child
* Avoid criticism, humiliating comments, or mocking a child
* Use small successes to boost a child's confidence
* Be aware of a child's needs, both physical and emotional
* Identify what the child enjoys-and what he or she doesn't enjoy
* Avoid agreeing or siding with the "enemy" when a child feels mistreated
* Empower a child by giving choices and respecting his or her wishes
And, remember, emotion coaching builds trust and leads to closer relationships between children and those who care for them ... a benefit that is priceless.
¿©±â¿¡ ¼Ò°³µÈ Gottman ¹Ú»çÀÇ ÀÌ·ÐÀº À̸¦Å×¸é ¿ÀÀº¿µ ¹Ú»ç´ÔÀÇ TV °ÀÇ¿¡¼µµ È®ÀÎÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù. <Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last>µµ Gottman ¹Ú»çÀÇ Ã¥Àε¥, Texas Cooperative Extension (The Texas A&M University System)¿¡¼ ¿ä¾àÇÑ <Four Steps to Healthy Communication in Marriage>ÀÇ ¼ÒÁ¦¸ñÀ» °£Ã߸®¸é,
How to Calm Yourself
How to Speak and Listen without Becoming Defensive
How to Validate Each Other
How to "Overlearn" These Communication Skills So They Become Second Nature
±¸Ã¼ÀûÀÎ ³»¿ëÀº ¿ÀÀº¿µ ¹Ú»ç´ÔÀÇ °ÀÇ¿Í ´Ù¸£Áö ¾Ê±â ¶§¹®¿¡ ¼Ò°³¸¦ »ý·«Çϱâ·Î ÇÑ´Ù. Gottman ¹Ú»çÀÇ Ã¥À» ¿©·µ ¼Ò°³ÇÑ ÀÌÀ¯´Â, °á±¹ MindfulnessÀÇ ¹®Á¦°¡ ¾ó¸¶³ª Áß¿äÇÑ ¿ä¼ÒÀÎÁö¸¦ ¾Ë¸®±â À§Çؼ´Ù. ƯÈ÷ ³»°¡ ¼öÁýÇÑ ÀÚ·á °¡¿îµ¥´Â <Mindfulness And Acceptance>¶ó´Â Ç¥ÇöÀÌ °íÁ¤ÀûÀ¸·Î µé¾î°£ Ã¥µéÀÌ ¸¹´Ù--¹°·Ð ÀÌ·± Á¦¸ñÀÇ Ã¥µéÀº ÈξÀ Àü¹®ÀûÀÎ <ÀÇÇÐ> ¼ÀûÀÌ´Ù. Mindfulness¶ó´Â Ç¥Çö¿¡¼ ¿ÀÇØÇϱ⠽¬¿î °ÍÀº, ÀÚ±âÀÇ ¸¶À½À̶ó´Â ÀÚ¿øÀ» <¼Òºñ(Use)>ÇÏ´Â °ÍÀ¸·Î¸¸ »ý°¢Çϱ⠽±´Ù´Â °ÍÀÌ´Ù. ±×¸¦ À§Çؼ´Â ¸ÕÀú Acceptance°¡ Àß ÁøÇàµÇ¾î¾ß ÇÑ´Ù´Â Á¡À» Ưº°È÷ °Á¶ÇÏ°íÀÚ ÇÑ´Ù.
ÀÌÁ¦ MindfulnessÀÇ Àǹ̿¡ ´ëÇؼ´Â ´ë° ÀÌÇØ°¡ µÇ¾úÀ» °ÍÀÌ´Ù. ±×·¯¸é <Mindful Couple: How Acceptance and Mindfulness Can Lead You to the Love You Want>¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ¸®ºä¸¦ ½ÃÀÛÇغ¸ÀÚ. Robyn D. Walser ¹Ú»ç¿Í Darrah Westrup ¹Ú»çÀÇ °øÀúÀÌ´Ù.
(ÈÞ½Ä ÈÄ¿¡ °è¼Ó...)
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Attention is love. - Karen Maezen Miller
"°ü½ÉÀÌ »ç¶ûÀÌ´Ù" ¶ó´Â ¸»...
Love takes up where knowledge leaves off.
"Áö½ÄÀÌ ¸ØÃá °÷¿¡¼ »ç¶ûÀº ½ÃÀ۵ȴÙ" Thomas Aquinas°¡ ³²±ä ¸»ÀÌ´Ù. (BrainyQuote)
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
"»ç¶ûÇؼ ÀÒ´Â °Ô ¾Æ´Ï¶ó, »ç¶ûÀ» ¾ïÁ¦ÇÔÀ¸·Î½á ÀҴ´Ù"´Â Barbara de AngelisÀÇ ¸»ÀÌ´Ù. (BrainyQuote)
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
"³ª´Â »ç¶ûÀ» ¹ö¸®Áö ¾Ê±â·Î °á½ÉÇß´Ù. ´©±¸¸¦ ¹Ì¿öÇÏ´Â °ÍÀº ³»°¡ Áû¾îÁö±â¿£ ³Ê¹«³ª Å« ÁüÀ̱⠶§¹®¿¡." Martin Luther King, Jr.°¡ ¹ß°ßÇÑ Áø¸®´Ù. (BrainyQuote)
<Mindful Couple: How...>¿¡ ´ëÇÑ ¸®ºä´Â ¿©±â¿¡¼ ±×Ä¡±â·Î ÇÏÀÚ. (Robyn D. Walser ¹Ú»ç¿Í Darrah Westrup ¹Ú»çÀÇ ÀÌ Ã¥ÀÌ ´õ ÀÌ»ó Àо ÇÊ¿ä°¡ ¾ø´Ù´Â ¶æÀÌ ¾Æ´Ï´Ù--¸ñÂ÷¸¦ »ìÆ캸¶ó!) ±×·¯³ª ºó °ø°£À» ¿©·¯ºÐ¿¡°Ô ¸Ã±ä´Ù. ±× Áú¹®Àº ÀÌ·± °ÍÀÌ´Ù.
ÀÌ ¸®ºäÀÇ Á¦¸ñÀº Dear Signorina the ProneÀÌ´Ù. Signorina´Â ÀÌÅ»¸®¾Æ¾î·Î ¿µ¾îÀÇ Miss¿¡ ÇØ´çÇÑ´Ù. Æ÷¸£Åõ°¥¾î·Î´Â Senhorita¶ó°í ÇѴٴµ¥, prone (to do)´Â <~ÇÏ°ï ÇÏ´Â>À̶ó´Â ¶æÀ̹ǷΠÁ¦¸ñÀº <~ÇÏ°ï ÇÏ´Â ¾Æ°¡¾¾¿¡°Ô µå¸²>À̶ó°í Çؼ®ÇÒ ¼ö ÀÖ´Ù. ¿©·¯ºÐÀº ¹«¾ùÀ» Á¾Á¾ ÇÏ´Â ¾Æ°¡¾¾°¡ µÇ°í ½ÍÀ¸½ÅÁö? To Love? To Be Loved? To Accept? To Forgive? ¼³¸¶ To Hate´Â ¾Æ´Ï......
¾Æ·¡´Â Ã¥ÀÇ Ç¥Áö´Ù. ÇÑ ³²ÀÚ¿Í ÇÑ ¿©ÀÚ°¡ ¼ÕÀ» Àâ°í ÀÖ´Ù. ±×¸²ÀÚ±îÁö »ý°¢Çϸé M°ú W·Î º¸ÀδÙ. M°ú W¸¦ ¹«¾ùÀÇ ÁÙÀÓÀ̶ó°í »ý°¢ÇϽôÂÁö? Man°ú WomanÀº Á¦¿ÜÇÏÀÚ! Magenta & White? Magic & World? Mood & Waiting? ¿©·¯ºÐÀÇ »ý°¢Àº ¹«¾ùÀԴϱî? (¸®ºä ³¡)
**A kiss is a rosy dot over the 'i' of loving.
ÀÌ·± ½Ç¾ø´Â ¼Ò¸®µµ ÀÖ´Ù! (Cyrano de Bergerac, BrainyQuote)